After reading my Journal last night I read over and over about how sad my life was. Maybe not how sad it was but really how truly sad I was very the course of my teen life. I read how hurt, alone and sad I was regularly and how I battled a losing battle daily with myself and a disease I was told I had that I am now confident that I do not have.
Beyond this sadness there is the endless search of trying to find that perfect man that was going to love me. Every page was a different story of a different guy or boy who captured my heart and my mind. With this I tear up knowing how desperate I was for love and affection. Was it my home, my heart or my friends that made me search to be loved? Only my deepest heart and closest friends will be know the answer to why my search was bound continually and desperately. I feel so lucky and grateful that I now have no other story of any other man but the one that I am bound to marry from this day forward.
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